There Goes My Heart ....

There Goes My Heart ....

Today I watched my oldest son drive away.  I wasn't sure how I would react as he drove away.  Since graduation everyone around me would ask if I was OK or if I was ready for James to leave.  I thought I was ready.  I kept telling myself that we have prepared him the best we can and that he will be OK.  I am not upset that he is headed off to college.  I am so excited for him, so proud of him, and worried all at the same time.  I know deep in my heart he will be OK.  The song "There Goes My Life" by Kenny Chesney sums up my feelings.  My heart ... my life just drove off.  I sat on my the step to my front porch and just cried as I watch him drive away.

I will miss him showing up in my classroom just to say HI.  He started that little tradition when he was in kindergarten.  What most people know is that James and I started school together.  His 1st day of kindergarten was my 1st day of teaching.  We have been there for each other for the past 13 years.  It was a little hard today to start the school year knowing his 1st day is next week, and he would be leaving today.

I know things will change between us.  He is no longer my little guy that would sit with me just to be near me.  He will no longer pop his cute little head in my classroom and say "HI MOM, How's your day?".  I am going to miss everything about him and worry about him at the same time.  I am not worried that he will succeed. I know he will. He is a bright young man with a big future a head of him.  I also know he is smart and will make the best decisions he can.  He is following his passion and doing what he loves to do.  I just worry if he will be happy and safe.

When he drove away today it was like watching my heart walk away.  It will take time for me to adjust not having James around all the time.  I am looking forward to Labor Day weekend when he comes home for a visit!

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